Barely Breathing
by Acacia Jules
Summary: REWRITTEN Kay's life seems like a horrible mistake after it seems as though everyone's abandoned her. Luis realizes how much he cares about her. Will they be able to handle living together? Ivy finally admits the truth to Sam about Ethan. Kay/Luis Savy
1. Broken Wings REWRITTEN

**Title:** Barely Breathing  
**Name:** Jules  
**Rating:** PG-15 maybe sometimes higher  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously, I don't own any of the characters, no matter how much I WISH I did. They belong to NBC the boneheads who own Passions. Any other characters, I created.  
**Classification:** (angst, romance, friendship)  
**Summary:** Kay's life seems like a horrible mistake after it seems as though everyone's abandoned her. Luis realizes how much he cares about her. Will they be able to handle living together? Ivy finally admits the truth to Sam about Ethan. Kay/Luis, Savy

_Ok, this is going to be an odd pairing, I mean WAY out there, and it's set in the year 2001. I'm not sure how it will be received, but it just came into my mind one day, and I had to write it down. I really need to know whether or not I should continue this time, whether you love it, or you absolutely hate it. Frankly, I'm terrified that everyone will hate it._

_Oh, and I'm taking liberty with birthdays, and there's nothing you can do about it! sticks out tongue AND I'm making the teens a year older._

_Oh, and just so you know, things between 's in the story are being THOUGHT _

**  
Barely Breathing**

_By Jules  
__**Chapter 1  
**_**_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_**

**Harmony, Main  
****January 2001 **

Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald was strolling along the wharf, reflecting on his long day, when he perceive a sniffling noise, like someone was crying. The off-duty officer paused and glanced around. He soon caught sight of the source of the sound; it was a girl! Her head was bowed down, so all he could see was her long dark layered brown hair, with small sections of it dyed blond. Generally, Luis would leave a person alone if they were crying, as he himself hated to be bothered when he was upset, but it was getting dark, she was in distress and she didn't look very capable of protecting herself. As an officer of the law and frankly, simply a well-brought up man with a conscious, he couldn't in good conscience leave her there.

He cautiously approached her, not wanting to scare her, "Excuse me, Miss, are you alright?"

The girl looked up, startled, tears were running freely down her cheeks, her dark eyeliner and mascara with it, "Please, j-just go away Luis."

Luis was taken aback; it was Kay! "What's wrong Kay? What's happened to make you be crying on your 18th birthday?"

His words just made her cry harder, "I-is my life _so_ pathetic, th-that only you, m-my ex-best friend's brother remembers?" She demanded, to no one in particular.

Luis was mystified, "What do you mean? Of course I wouldn't forget. You used to dance around my house for _a month_ before it chanting how you were turning how ever old you were on January 18th."

"Yeah, well you're the only one who did. With Charity's birthday be-being last week, I guess I just f-fade into the b-background." Kay divulged, trying to keep her teeth from chattering in the frigid weather.

"I'm sure that's not true." Luis endeavored to assure her, sitting on the bench next to her.

"Then why is it they all forgot my birthday? Why is it I only got three presents on Christmas, one from Uncle Hank, one from Reese, and one from my Grandparents. M-my dad tries, but he's been so di-distracted lately, Jessica h-hates me, Simone left me, a-and my 'b-best friend' only talks to m-me wh-when he w-wants to kn-know where Ch-Ch-Charity is."

She started to tremble violently, her lips were turning blue, and her hands were numb. For the first time, Luis noticed that Kay didn't even have a coat on in the frigid sub-zero New England winter; the sweatshirt she had on definitely wouldn't be cutting it.

"Kay, let me take you home . . ." Luis began, putting his arm around her shoulder.

Kay violently shook him off, "No! I c-can't, I can't g-go b-back to a p-place where I'm c-considered a n-non p-person. I w-won't, Luis, I-I can't."

Truthfully, Luis hadn't even _thought_ about taking her back to the Bennett's, but he was shocked at her aggressive objection to the idea.

Luis gallantly removed his thick coat and wrapped it around her thin frame, "Of course not, you're coming home to my place. I know Hank would love to see his favorite niece."

Hank Bennett had managed to work out a solution of most of his troubles six months previously and was now a completely free man. He and Luis had moved into a nice two-bedroom apartment together, splitting the rent several months before.

Poor Kay was simply shivering too hard to fight when Luis scooped her up.

_**  
xXx**_

**  
Hank and Luis's apartment **

Hank was in the midst of wrapping his niece Kay's birthday gift when the door to his apartment burst open. Instinctively, he jumped up, reaching for his gun, only to remember he'd stopped carrying one months ago. He was torn between relief and horror to realize it was just his best friend, Luis, the horror was due to the fact that he was carrying someone in his arms, wrapped in his coat.

"Hank, its Kay." Luis told him without any preamble, "Open my bedroom door, she's damn near frozen."

Hank did ordered; frankly because his own bedroom wasn't sight that any young female should witness.

Luis laid Kay down upon his bed, then immediately started rubbing Kay's arms and hands in an endeavor to warm her up, and hopefully prevent frostbite. She didn't even look at him, her eyes firmly fixed on the wall opposite him.

Kay didn't want to see the pity and disappointment she _knew_ she'd find in their eyes, so she kept her head down.

Luis recognized her need for silence due to years of police and big brother experience, so he didn't try to speak with her just now, there would be time for discussions about the situation later.

Luis arranged her underneath his thick blankets and quilt, "Get some sleep Kay. We'll talk later."

"P-please, don't make me go back there . . ." She begged one last time, speaking for the first time since Luis had picked her up at the docks.

Luis was unsettled by the young woman's words, but reassured her, "I won't, I promise."

Luis watched her for several moments, studying the girl he once knew so well, wondering what could have happened to cause her to end up in such a state. Then stepped into the other room, closing the door behind him, hoping to get some answers.

Hank was right there waiting for him expectantly, wanting answers of his own.

"What the hell is going on?" Hank demanded, hissing at his friend, in an endeavor not to disturb Kay, "Why the hell is my niece in your bedroom?"

"I found her on the wharf, crying her eyes out. She didn't even have a coat on!" Luis quickly explained, then shook his head, "I cannot believe them." He growled

"Who?" Hank questioned confused at the abrupt chance in Luis' demeanor.

"My brother, your brother, and Grace." Luis answered.

"What happened?" Hank asked sighing, silently groaning. He knew from experience what idiots his family could be, and how much damage they could do in a short amount of time.

"They forgot Kay's birthday today. Her 18th birthday! Not to mention, overlooking her at Christmas. I brought her back here because she begged me not to take her home. She said she couldn't go back to a place she was considered a '_non person_', her words by the way."

Hank flopped down on the couch, "Aww man! I knew it was bad, but I didn't know they would let it go _this_ far. Grace is freaking _obsessed_ with Charity for some reason, in a totally unhealthy way. And my brother Sam, well, seems he's in love with someone else, and he's currently trying to ignore it, which is only distracting him even more . . . . They actually forgot her 18th birthday? Damn it. They know how fragile she is to ! My God, she's on medications for depression."

"Wha-why?"

"She's lost everyone Luis. In the years since Charity came to Harmony, Kay has slowly, but surely, lost practically everyone and everything she ever cared about, to Charity. Simone decided she no longer want to be friends with Kay, for reasons I'm still not clear on; Jessica started hating Kay even _more_, and you know how well _they_ got along in the first place. As for my _wonderful_ sister-in-law, Grace, who Kay was never close to in the first place, started to ignore her and compare her to Charity constantly.

The final straw for her though, was _your_ brother. After having been best friends for _so_ many years, Kay had developed this huge crush on him. Honestly, crush really isn't strong enough a word; she was like . . . in love with him. Anyway, just when she was about to tell him. The wonderful, perfect Charity showed up and Miguel fell for her at first sight. Kay was crushed, but not for long. Being the strong, independent girl she was, my nice fought back for what she wanted back then. She tried practically _everything_ to get Miguel to notice her, but little by little, she lost her best friend. He never talked with her like they used to. They never spent any time alone, not even as friends. He tried to set her up repeatedly with Reese, whom Kay felt nothing for and _definitely_ had never had showed any interest in. Miguel soon stopped coming to see her and he never talked to her unless to ask about Charity.

It destroyed her Luis. She not only lost her first love, but her best friend too. Simone knew Kay hated Charity, but she got tired of Kay's schemes to try and get Miguel to notice her. So Simone dropped Kay, and became friends with Charity. Kay was left all alone, with no friends, and she . . . started to fade away."

Luis sat down in a chair, listening intently to Hank's attempt to explain everything that had happened.

Hank took a deep breath, and then went on, "My niece has a fiery spirit, but one that also craves attention. She'd a middle child, and comes with all the neurosies attached to being one. She desperately needs someone to care about her and watch out of her, no matter what she says to the contrary. Someone who puts _her_ first. That's what Miguel used to do . . . . I know, she seems _so_ strong and independent, but she's really so fragile inside. Miguel _used_ to be aware of that, but these days . . . ." Hank sighed, "I did what I could while all this was happening. But I was caught up in my own shit at the time. But I tried my best once I caught sight of what was going on. I _tried_ to talk with her about things, and I warned Sam about the dark path his daughter was headed down, that's how she got diagnosed and was given antidepressants. No one but Sam and I even know that she takes those kinds of things . . . . They do help, a lot, but they're not a miracle. Thank God you brought her here. That house . . . that house full of people devoted to the worship and constant happiness of _Charity_, it's killing her Luis. It's killing her soul, and it will slowly and painfully, kill her."

"We have to help her." Luis declared, his soul aching for the young girl sleeping in the room behind him.

"I know, believe me, I know." Hank agreed, "But how?"

"Well, from what you said, she can't really move out into her own place alone, because that would be too much like abandonment to her. She needs to be around people, people who will take care of her and watch her to make sure she doesn't do anything . . . rash. But like you said, the Bennett household is essentially killing her, on top of which I'm pretty sure she's not getting the level of surveillance she most likely needs in her fragile state. So, only solution I can see in this mess, is that she moves in here with us." Luis rationalized.

"Of course! Why didn't I come up with that months ago?" Hank wondered to himself.

"I'll give you one word, Sheridan."

Sheridan and Hank were seriously dating now. Luis hadn't been able lie to Sheridan and 'admit' her he'd said those things, so they grew apart. With Luis out of Sheridan's heart, Hank had eagerly closed in (with Luis' blessing), and in the following months, had grown very close to her. The couple had been physically showing each other how they felt about their relationship for a long time, but both had wanted to move slowly. Hank, because until recently he wasn't sure whether or not his ex-associates would leave him alone for good, and Sheridan because she was afraid of getting hurt again after having been burned so many times.

Hank nodded sheepishly, then perked up, "Actually, this is perfect timing! Sher has been hinting to me that she wants us to move in together, at her cottage. I could still pay for my half of the rent to cover for Kay, and she just move into my room."

"What! You want me to stay here, alone, with your niece?" Luis questioned apprehensively.

"Hey, I trust ya man!" Hank teased.

The thing was, Luis wasn't sure he could trust himself around Kay. He had begun to notice how beautiful Kay was when she turned 16. That was when Luis first noticed her turning into very pretty girl, with an ok figure, and since then she'd just grown more attractive and developed some wonderful curves (including actually developing some breasts in the last year). Luis just couldn't understand how his brother could be so blind to such a good-looking young woman.

_**  
xXx**_

Contrary to what the two men in the other room believe, Kay was still wide-awake. She was curled up, shivering in Luis' bed, wishing she'd jumped off the wharf into the icy cold water when she'd had the chance. But **_no_**, she'd decided to have one last good cry. It was going to be her only birthday gift, one to herself . . . a present she had desperately wanted.

Finally, she was to accept death. To finally put an end to the agony of her existence, to slip into the black void where she didn't feel the pain anymore. Where the fact Miguel didn't return her love or even notice her anymore wouldn't hurt her anymore. Where things like nobody cared about her anymore didn't matter. For it all to just STOP. Death was the one thing Charity wouldn't be able take from her . . . she had hoped.

Then _Luis_ had come along, being all sweet, actually remembering her birthday (unlike her family), wrapping _his own_ coat around her, and giving her his bed to sleep in. He'd actually noticed her, he'd actually cared about her well being . . . it had been _so long_ since someone had.

Guys at school had pretended to have feelings for her, she'd fck a guy, and she would delude herself into believe that he actually cared about her, but then the next day he'd be with some **other** girl in the hall way, his arm wrapped around _her_ shoulders, but never Kay's. She'd even gotten pregnant on several occasions. They all paid her off to get rid of it and keep quiet. After the second accident, she'd stopped putting her trust in just condoms and gone on the birth control pill. She was the school's secret slut, no one knew about it, no one.

A while back, she'd stopped messing around with teenage boys, and she'd moved on to rich married men who made her feel attractive while briefly alleviating her need for affection, they eventually too paid, big bucks when they would go their separate ways, to keep her mouth shut not that she would have ever admitted to anyone, ever, what she was doing. It would have just made everyone more disappointed in her, and give her former friends more to yell at her about . . . . But Kay had even stopped doing that, finally realizing she was never going to find what she so desperately searched for _there_ either. Lately, she'd begun to gaze out the window at night for hours, praying that God would either help her find peace on this Earth, or mercifully end the black hole that was her existence once and for all. Finally, this afternoon, after everyone had forgotten her birthday, she had come to the realization nothing in the universe gave a damn enough to help her one way or the other, and decided to take matters into her own hands . . . she'd been so close too . . .

Kay was brought out of her dark thoughts by the startling sound of the door being opened, the noise abnormally loud in the silence of the room. She immediately closed her eyes and feigned being asleep.

Hank carefully watched his niece from the entrance of the room. When she slept was when she looked the most fragile, her carefully constructed mask firmly in place during the day. Presently though, her expression was guarded and her frame oddly tense, so he knew she was faking. But Hank didn't want to bother her, instinctively knowing that she wasn't ready to talk just then, so he simply set her gift on the nightstand and then left the room, letting her think that he'd believed her act.

Kay didn't reopen her eyes though, the exhaustion of the day caught up with her, and she soon fell asleep.

_**  
xXx**_

**  
Around Midnight **

Luis lay on the couch, wide-awake. At long last he couldn't take just lying there any more, and got up. He paced the main room apartment for a long time, his thoughts in turmoil. Eventually he padded over to his bedroom, he opened the door and gazed at the young woman sleeping in his bed, studying her. Hank had been right in his assessments, Kay really did appear fragile and small as she slept. Luis stared at her, her dark hair with its blond streaks framed her pale face setting off her striking features. She was . . . absolutely gorgeous.

Her pants were piled on a nearby chair, with her sweatshirt, which she'd evidently tossed off at some point during the night. This led Luis to the startling realization that Kay was sleeping in _his bed_, not wearing very much at all.

Luis gulped at the thought, _Bad thoughts Luis, you aren't supposed to think this way. It's wrong, completely and utterly wrong! She's your best friend's niece . . . his very **attractive** niece . . . but it's still soo wrong! You aren't supposed to be having fantasies about her. _

Unfortunately, the fantasies came despite his self-admonishments, and when Luis _realized_ the bulge in his pants was becoming painfully evident, he quickly ran to the joint bathroom for a cold shower. Praying that his depraved thoughts about the gorgeous Kay go away soon.

_**  
xXx**_

**  
The Bennett house, Jessica and Kay's bedroom **

Jessica was getting ready for bed when she realized Kay wasn't home, which was very strange given Kay's recent pattern of behavior of only leaving the house to go to school. Now that Jessica thought about it though, Kay had been missing all day. The teen bit her lip in apprehension; she had no idea where her sister was.

Jessica would never admit it to anyone, but she'd always been jealous of her older sister, for many reasons, both real and imagined. It was because of how tall Kay was, and the fact Reese doted on her so much (while Kay 'heartlessly' ignored his advances). Kay always had to be the center of attention, and was so close with her group of friends . . . but lately, Jessica, now that _thought_ about it, Kay really didn't _have_ many . . . if **any** friends, and she'd also noticed that Kay kept to herself more. She didn't even scheme anymore! Which, now that she actually thought about it, really scared Jessica. Kay had **_always_** schemed, as long as Jessica could remember; Kay had always planning . . . something.

If Jessica was being honest with herself, she realized that she was worried about her sister. She'd heard the rumors about Kay around school, but she'd figured that's all they were, rumors. At Harmony High, cruel rumors were always going around about _someone_ . . . but that didn't mean there usually wasn't some grain of truth about it.

Jessica decided that she'd better snoop around. She carefully rummaged around through all of Kay's things, a season pro at such activities, but found nothing until she searched under Kay's bed, underneath a loose floorboard Kay had used as a hiding place since she was little, there she hit the jackpot. That's where she found a shoebox, with pills and a huge wad of bills inside. She read the top of the round pill container, birth control! Her sister was on birth control! Then she read the perception on the other one, Prozac.

Jessica dropped the bottle in shock, her sister had depression? . . . God, how hadn't she ever noticed? All the signs had been there, her sister's withdrawal from everything, her sneaking in and out at all hours of the day, the rumors about Kay sleeping around . . . and all Jessica had ever done was fuel the fire and make it worse. _What kind of a sister_ _was she_!

Jessica had an _awful_ feeling in the pit of her stomach. Where was Kay? Why wasn't she home yet? It wasn't like Kay even had any friends to spend the night at . . . unless . . .

Jessica dove for the phone and dialed a familiar number.

_**  
xXx**_

Hank was sound asleep when his line rang. He fumbled for the phone.

"What the hell do you want calling at this hour, unless it's Sheridan, otherwise, what do you want sweetie?"

"_I've never felt so loved Uncle Hank, but that's besides the point. Where is she?"_

Hank recognized the voice of his youngest niece, "Jessica? What . . . oh, you mean Kay."

"_Who else would I be asking about? Did you know about the Prozac?"_

"Jessica, have you been snooping? I'm so proud of you! And to answer your two questions, she's sleeping in Luis's room. He's on the couch. As for the Prozac, yah, I knew and so did your father."

"_Is she ok? She's not hurt is she?"_

"Jessica, are you actually worried about her?" Hank asks sitting up, "'Cause never once in your life, have you _ever_ cared about your sister. All you ever wanted to do was hurt her, and pretty much put an end to her."

"_Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I feel guilty about helping drive my sister to have to take antidepressants, do you know what it's like? I'm sorry Uncle Hank, you have no idea how sorry I am_."

Hank sighed, "I know you are. So I'm going to warn you. I'm going to invite Kay to stay in my room here from now on, I'm going to be moving in with Sheridan, so there will be a free room here for her. The stuff with your mom and Charity, it's just too much for her."

"_I understand. I'll pack her things, and make sure her medications come too._"

"That's very nice of you Jessica. I wouldn't have expected you to offer."

"_Hey, anything to get her out of my room sooner."_ Jessica joked.

Hank rolled his eyes, "Good-night Jessica."

"_Night_."

Then both hung up.

**_  
xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_**

Please, I want replies, I know it sounds pathetic, but I live for feedback, good or bad! I need to know what you think so I know where to go with this.

**_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_****_xXx_**


	2. Changes for the Better

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own any of the characters, no matter how much I WISH I did. They belong to the wonderful owners of Passions and NBC  
  
  
I~ Thanks to all of you whom replied, telling me that you like it! It's encouraged me to write this chapter faster then I would have, and make it really long! So I hope you'll enjoy this, and please, REPLY! Again if you did before, and for the first time if you didn't before.   
  
And, I couldn't take it, I'm sorry, but I just can't write a fan fic without Sam and Ivy, I tried, I really did, but . . . there going to be in . . . Sam's already pinning for her. **SOB** I'm so weak!  
  
This chapter is rated . . . oh I don't know, I'm never a good judge of these types of things! ~/I  
  
  
Barely Breathing  
By Jules  
  
  
Chapter 2  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
b** The next morning **/b  
  
  
Kay woke up slowly; on her own, surprised because Jessica hadn't done anything mean to wake her up today. Then she looked around, and realized where she was, as well as remembered the events of the day before. Before she could regress into her memories and the deep melancholy she'd been in the night before, her eye caught three brightly wrapped gifts on the dresser. She lifted them onto the bed in front of her. She looked at the cards first, two were from Uncle Hank, and the other was from . . . Luis? She frowned, but opened her uncle's bigger gift to her first.   
  
She was shocked to find a real pearl and sapphire, white gold necklace (obviously a combination birthday/graduation gift).   
  
Next Kay opened up Luis's gift, she gaped at what he'd given her, tears in her eyes. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever given her, it was an old picture of her and a very soggy looking Luis; Luis had her in a headlock, it had been taken right after she and Miguel gotten him with a water-balloon on the 4th of July, ten years ago. Pilar had been poised, naturally, at the ready with her trusty camera that day and had gotten it on film. A memory of happier times for Kay . . . it was the best thing anyone could have given her after yesterday.  
  
After staring at the picture for a few minutes, lost in memories of better times, she opened up the small box and found a set of keys and a note.  
  
I Dear Kay,   
I know things are difficult at home, so Luis and I   
were hoping you'd be willing to move into my room here  
since I'm moving in with Sheridan. You don't have to   
worry about rent, I'll take care of it. And don't even   
think of turning us down, because Luis couldn't handle  
the rent on his own, so it's a win-win situation for all.  
What do you say? Will you please help us out?  
Love,  
Uncle Hank /I   
  
Kay was shocked, she could stay, here? Live here? Get out of the horrible house of Charity?  
  
Slowly she climbed out of bed, this had to be a trick . . . but it was Uncle Hank, he would never do that kind of thing.  
  
She wasn't quite sure whether or not she wanted to go into the living room, but she took a deep breath, then opened the door. She saw her uncle sitting at the table with a newspaper, so she sat down in front of him.She stared at him for a moment, afraid to speak. It was like if she spoke, he might disappear, with the offer to move in, away from the hell she'd been living in.  
  
Kay's voice was shaking when she finally worked up the courage to ask him, "Uncle Hank, are you serious? . . . About my being able to move in here, do you really mean it?"  
  
Hank put down the paper, "Of course I am. And Luis is totally ok with it, in fact, it was his idea."  
  
"You're saying, I can move in here?" She repeated.  
  
Hank nodded, "I'm almost done packing, then you can do whatever you want to the room. The landlady said that you can paint it if you want."  
  
"Uncle Hank, you have no idea how much this means to me . . . you really don't."  
  
"I have an idea . . . . But hey, I'm having your stuff packed right now, with your meds. We need to head over there so you don't miss your pill." Hank told her seriously, knowing how important it was for her to take her meds on time.   
  
"So, my parents know I'm moving out?"  
  
"Well, no, not yet, but they will. And it's not like they can stop you, or me. I'll go get them, and if they say they won't let you, I'll just remind them that you're 18 now, let them realize how dense they are, and feel all guilty."  
  
Kay smiled for the first time in a long time, "Thank you Uncle Hank, you're the greatest!"  
  
"I know! Now give me a hug and we'll go get your things."  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
b** One hour later **/b  
  
  
Hank opened the door to the home of his brother, and let Kay go in first. She was shaking, terrified for some reason. She didn't even know why she was so afraid.   
  
Jessica was waiting for them, she ran and hugged a stunned Kay, "Kay, I am sooooo sorry for the way I've treated you." Those were the first words that rushed out of her mouth, "I know I've never been a good sister, and I'm sorry. Please forgive me." She begged, crying.   
  
Kay was in a state of shock, "What's going on?"  
  
"If I'd known you were hurt, I would never have done all the things I did." Jessica rambled, stepping away, "I packed your things, after Uncle Hank explained when I called him last night looking for you."  
  
"You were worried about me?" Kay asked, not believing it.  
  
"I didn't know you had depression, I found your pills . . . and I just felt so bad, and I was so worried, so I called the only person who might know where you were. I was so glad you were ok and not dead or something."  
  
"Wait a minute, you found my pills? Jessica! Those were under my bed, under a loose floorboard, how the hell did you find them?"  
  
Jessica blushed, "I always knew about that hiding place and I had a bad feeling. It was the last place I looked, but I knew if I would find anything, it would be there."  
  
Hank realized this was the time to step in, "Alright, now lets get to work girl, we have boxes to carry and pills to take."  
  
Jessica handed Kay her pills, "I thought you might need to take it as soon as you got here, it said to take one every morning."  
  
"Um, thanks . . . I guess. I'll be in the kitchen getting some water. I'll join you guys upstairs in a few minutes."  
  
  
Kay walked into the kitchen, and groaned silently to herself, it was just what she needed, Grace and Charity. She didn't give them a second glance, but silently went to the sink and got a glass of water. She opened the pill bottle and poured on into her hand. She put it under her tongue, then took the glass of water and swallowed, so she would never even taste the pill. [IAfter nine years of taking tons medications at once, I've found this is the best way to take them, just make sure you get enough water and keep your tongue elevated while the pill(s) lay under it./I]  
  
Grace and Charity watched her do so, never having seen her do this before. Kay didn't even pay attention to them, she just walked right by them again, and up the stairs to the second floor.   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Jessica had turned on the radio, so the three could listen to music as they packed. An old song, one of the old Kay's favorites came on.  
  
  
I~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Run and tell all of the angels  
This could take all night  
Think I need a devil to help me get things right  
  
Hook me up a new evolution  
Cause this one is a lie  
We sat around laughin'  
And watched the last one die   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~/I   
  
  
For some reason, it made Kay feel better, she started packing, feeling more sure of herself and what she was doing.  
  
  
I~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yeah, I'm looking to the sky to save me  
Looking for a sign of life  
Looking for something   
To help me burn out bright  
  
I'm looking for a complication  
Looking cause I'm tired of lyin'  
Make my way back home  
When I learn to fly   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~/I  
  
  
Jessica knew that this would be Kay's own journey, she had to fly. Her sister was getting out of the house that had been her own personal hell since Charity came to town over a year and a half ago.   
  
  
I~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I think I'm done nursing the patients  
It could wait one night  
I'll give it all away   
If you give me one last try  
  
We'll live happily ever trapped   
If you just save my life  
Run and tell the angels   
That everything's alright   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~/I  
  
  
Hank truthfully hadn't Kay look so sure of herself in a long time. His heart lightened at the sight of her. Luis's idea of Kay moving into their apartment was his best ever, it was already helping Kay.   
  
  
I~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I'm looking to the sky to save me  
Looking for a sign of life  
Looking for something   
To help me burn out bright  
  
I'm looking for a complication  
Looking cause I'm tired of tryin'  
Make my way back home   
When I learn to fly.  
Make my way back home   
When I learn to fly   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~/I  
  
  
Kay looked around her room, one last time, remembering both the good times and the bad . . .   
  
I~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Fly along with me   
I can't quite make it alone  
Try to make this life my own  
  
Fly along with me   
I can't quite make it alone  
Try to make this life my own   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~/I  
  
  
Hank put his hand on Kay's shoulder, she looked at him. He smiled at her; she smiled back, her heart filled with courage. Then walked out the door, never once looking back.  
  
  
I~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I'm looking to the sky to save me  
Looking for a sign of life  
Looking for something   
To help me burn out bright  
  
I'm looking for a complication  
Looking cause I'm tired of tryin'  
Make my way back home   
When I learn to   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~/I  
  
  
  
Hank, Jessica, and Kay were loading the last of Kay's boxes into Hank's Jeep when Sam and Grace came running out.  
  
"Hank! KAY! Where do you think you are going? Charity just went into Kay and Jessica's bedroom to borrow some of Kay's clothes, only to find all Kay's things missing!" Grace cried out.   
  
"What's going on Hank." Sam demanded.   
  
"Kay's moving into an apartment, away from Grace and Charity. Sam, you, Jessica, and Noah are welcome to visit, but Grace and Charity are persona non grata."  
  
"Huh?" Grace stupidly asked.   
  
Jessica rolled her eyes at her mother, even she can't believe her mother doesn't know that, "Person not wanted, you're not allowed to visit."  
  
"Hank, I don't know what you think you're up to, but Kay is a minor, and she isn't going anywhere." Grace told him.   
  
Kay's eyes flash, "I'm 18 mom, and I'm going." With that she got in the jeep and slammed the door behind her, trying to hold back the tears that burned her eyes.   
  
Hank looked at his brother and sister-in-law and shook his head, "You people make me sick, all of you. Sam, you know she has depression, yet you ignore her. Grace, there's no excuse for the way you treat her and always compare her to Charity. But it makes me literally ill, to think my big brother could forget his oldest daughters 18th birthday. It's on the 18th for God's sake, yesterday! Remember? And you forgot her at Christmas, I believe Grace's excuse was, 'If we spend part of the money on Kay, there's less for Charity.'" He turned to Jessica and gave her a hug, "Thanks for the help, I have a feeling Kay will want you to visit her often."  
  
Then he strode to the other side of the Jeep, jumped in, started the car, and drove off, not even bothering to say good-bye.  
  
Jessica waved as they drove away, then turned to her parents, an angry expression on her face, "I can't believe you forgot her birthday! What's next, mine? Lord knows Mom didn't forget Charity's last week, but when it comes to her own daughter's, it completely slipped your mind. Dad, I don't know why you've been so distracted lately, but either get over, or do something about it. Mom . . . I don't know what to tell you, except I think you need therapy, because your obsession with Charity is getting scary, when you start neglecting your own daughters, it's a sign you're over the edge. Oh, and in case you forgot, which I know you did, Noah transferred to Harmony University, and will be home next week, so he'll be living with us again. " Then she calmly walked into the house.  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
b** 30 minutes later, on the beach **/b  
  
  
Sam had never felt so guilty in his life, his continuous musing of his past with Ivy had caused him to forget his daughters birthday . . . he couldn't let it control him anymore.   
  
The reason he'd been so distracted, wasn't just because Ivy had divorced Julian. Don't get him wrong, he was still completely in love with Ivy, but it was Grace too . . . she was driving him crazy. Every single day it was, Charity this, Charity that, Charity needs this, Charity wants something, blah, blah, blah!   
  
He couldn't take it anymore. He was filing for divorce, and the papers would be arriving any day now.   
  
Sam had been spending his time off searching for a place to live, and he'd found a great old house on the ocean. He spent all the money he'd been saving for he and Grace's 50th anniversary, (he plans ahead) he'd been able to purchase a Victorian style home with six bedrooms. Luckily, the old couple that had lived there before had been VERY eager to move to Florida, and let the home get rundown, so they'd sold it to him at a fraction the market value. With the money he'd been able to save he'd been able to furnish it, and on the weekends he'd been fixing it up (the inside so far, not out).   
  
It was all ready for him to move in . . . . As soon as he told Grace he was leaving her . . . which was all he'd been thinking about lately, and the reason he'd forgotten his daughter's birthday.   
  
But it was still not a good enough excuse, he'd been stupid.   
  
  
He didn't know how, but he'd make it up to his eldest daughter. He was so lost in thought, he didn't even spot Ivy, until he walked into her.   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Ivy had been walking on the beach, trying to figure a way to tell Sam that Ethan was his son, not Julian's. What she worried about was Alister, he was still very mad because Ethan cancelled the wedding to Gwen Hodgkiss, and ran off with Theresa several months ago.   
  
Ivy smiled about that, her son had ran off with Pilar's daughter right after the announcement at the wedding and eloped at the resort he and Theresa had gone to together when they were trying to find a place for Ethan and Gwen's honeymoon. It turned out being the place where Ethan and Theresa had secretly honeymooned until they'd returned three months later, Theresa one month pregnant. Ivy had set them up with a house, out of her private accounts, of which Julian had no knowledge.  
  
Ethan had set up a law practice. And Theresa, as Ivy's daughter-in-law could no longer be Ivy's assistant, so Ivy arranged for Theresa's designs to be shown at a New York fashion show. The public loved her creations, and now Theresa spent her days sketching at home and faxing everything to her assistant who ran Theresa's own designer clothing company, Serendipity. She was three months along now, and Ivy was a little jealous . . . she missed having a baby . . . but the only kind she'd want to have now, was Sam's.  
  
She'd divorced Julian before she'd even found out Ethan had married Theresa, after she found out about he and Eve Russell's little affair, and that he was still going after her (in her eyes, she didn't mind the maids, but going after a doctor at Harmony General was too much.) Ivy had blackmailed Julian, with some interesting photos of him with another man (they were doctored, but they were so well done, not even a professional would be able to tell.)  
  
  
  
Ivy was deep in thought about the paternity issue, when someone had slammed into her, knocking her down.   
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  
Please, I want replies, I know it sounds pathetic, but I live for feedback, good or bad! I need to know what you think so I know where to go with this.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	3. How's It Gonna Be

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own any of the characters, no matter how much I WISH I did. They belong to the wonderful owners of Passions and NBC  
  
  
I~ Thanks to all of you whom replied, telling me that you like it! It's encouraged me to write this chapter faster then I would have, and make it really long! So I hope you'll enjoy this, and please, REPLY! Again if you did before, and for the first time if you didn't before.   
  
And, I couldn't take it, I'm sorry, but I just can't write a fan fic without Sam and Ivy, I tried, I really did, but . . . there going to be in . . . Sam's already pinning for her. **SOB** I'm so weak!  
  
This chapter is rated . . . oh I don't know, I'm never a good judge of these types of things! ~/I  
  
  
bBarely Breathing/b  
IBy Jules/i  
  
  
IbChapter 3/I/b  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Oh, I am so sorry Ivy!" Sam exclaimed, helping her up immediately once he saw who it was he'd slammed into.   
  
"It was my fault." Ivy insisted, brushing herself off.   
  
"No, it was mine." Sam argued.   
  
At the same time they both say, "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."  
  
Ivy gave in, smiling, "If it will make you feel better, alright, it's all your fault."  
  
Sam laughed, "Thank you. So, what are you doing here on the beach on such a cold day?"  
  
"This is where I've always come to think. It's something I started years ago, with this boyfriend I had ages ago. We used to come here together, and I've been coming here to think things out ever sense." Ivy explained, alluding to their past relationship.   
  
Sam smiled at the memory, "Ahhh yes, I had a girlfriend who I used to come here with too. Which is why I bought a house on the beach to live in, after I tell my wife I'm leaving her that is."  
  
Ivy's eyes widened in surprise and her heart was in her throat, "Is that so? Hmm, I should have thought of that. Right now, I'm stuck living in a hotel."  
  
"What was so special about this boyfriend that it makes you come here to think?"  
  
Ivy smiled, her heart revealing itself, "He was the love of my life. The only man I ever loved, and the only person who ever cared about me, before my children. I wanted to marry him some day . . . . He was so handsome too. Athletic build, great hair, and when he smiled at me, my heart just skipped a beat." She grinned coyly, then turned it onto Sam, "What about you, what was so special about that girlfriend of yours?"  
  
"Oh she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. Her blond hair was so long and soft. And she had this way of looking at me, so adoringly, loving me completely. I loved her with every fiber of my being."  
  
The sexual tension in the air is at a maximum high, Sam looked down at Ivy, who unconsciously took a step closer to him, looking up at him, and she licked her lips.   
That was the breaking point for Sam, he pulled her close to him and kissed her with everything he had in him. Ivy responded passionately. Both had been holding this back for years, and they couldn't take it anymore.   
  
Sam swept her off her feet, literally, and then rushed her up to his new house. He some how opened the door and kicked it closed behind him. He carried up the stairs, into the master bedroom.   
  
They kissed and tore at each other's clothes wildly. Ivy legs wrapped around Sam's waist, bringing him closer to her as they kissed. Shirts were thrown in unknown corners, pants pulled off . . .   
Kissing each other all over their bodies, not able to get enough of each other.   
  
Wild, animal lust, and love ruled their bodies and they made passionate love long into the night.   
  
  
It was late at night when, both lay there panting, Ivy lying on Sam's chest, muttering to herself.   
  
  
Sam kissed the top of her head, "Is something wrong?"  
  
"I don't know how to tell you . . . it's just that . . . I've wanted to tell you this for so many years"  
  
"What Ivy?" Sam questioned.   
  
Ivy continued, not even hearing him, "But my father said he'd kill you both if I did."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Ivy rambled on, "Even after he died, I couldn't tell you. It was so complicated by then, and as the years went on, it just got harder and harder to say . . . even though he threatened you I mean. I thought you wouldn't understand. That you couldn't understand." Ivy prattled.   
  
"What did you want to tell me that your father would kill me and whomever for?" Sam asked scared, somehow sensing what her answer most likely would be.   
  
"That I was pregnant all those years ago when you left me." Ivy finally got out, and then said more softly, "That Ethan really is your son."   
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
b** Luis and IKay's/I apartment **/b  
  
  
Hank moved the last of Ihis/I boxes into his Jeep, and Kay's were sitting in the living room. He said his good-byes, then drove off, to Sheridan's.  
  
  
Now Luis and Kay stood in the middle of the empty bedroom, opening cans of golden yellow paint. The windows open to make all the paint fumes leave the apartment.   
  
They turned on the radio and got to work. They were on the third wall, when a song came on, that obviously effected Kay.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore  
Before you take a swing  
I wonder  
What are we fighting for?  
  
When I say outsold  
I want to get out of this  
I wonder as there anything   
I'm going to miss /I  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
Kay pretended that she didn't hear the song, and kept painting the wall  
  
She used to play the song all the time, and it had been one of her favorites. But now it just seemed to tell all what was wrong between her and Miguel, except that she Idid/I care.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
II wonder how it's going to be  
When you don't know me  
How's it going to be  
When you're sure I'm not there  
How's it going to be  
When there's no one there to talk to  
Between you and me  
  
Cause I don't care  
How's it going to be  
How's it going to be /I  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
Luis noticed the guarded look on Kay's face, and silently watched her as he painted, keeping a close eye on his new roommate. He really didn't understand how people could believe she was so strong, when it was so obvious she needed people so much if anyone actually took the time to look.   
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
IWhere we used to laugh  
There's a shouting match  
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch  
  
A silence I can't ignore  
Like the hammock by the  
Doorway we spent time in swings empty  
Don't see lightning like last fall  
When it was always about to hit me /I  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
He was truly seeing Kay for what she really was for the first time in his life, a deeply hurting, confused, frail girl, who needed to be loved, more then anybody had ever noticed.   
  
Luis had never wanted to kick his brother's ass more then he did right at that moment.   
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
I I wonder how's it going to be  
When it goes down  
How's it going to be  
When you're not around  
How's it going to be  
When you found out there was nothing  
Between you and me /I  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
Kay kept pretending the song wasn't getting to her, she had to stay strong. People had to believe that she was as tough as the outward appearance she gave off.   
  
She couldn't allow herself to be weak, that's what people prey on. Your weaknesses, and if they couldn't see them, they couldn't hurt her anymore.   
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
ICause I don't care  
How's it going to be  
And how's it going to be  
When you don't know me anymore  
And how's it going to be /I  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
But Kay finally crumbled, she couldn't hold it in anymore. Her knees gave out, and she sunk to the floor, tears running down her face as she mourned.  
  
Luis rushed to her held her, and let her cry on someone's shoulder for once.   
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
IWant to get myself back in again  
The soft dive of oblivion  
I want to taste the salt of your skin  
The soft dive of oblivion oblivion  
  
How's it going to be  
When you don't know me anymore  
How's it going to be  
How's it going to be  
How's it going to be /I  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
She cried for the things that she'd lost, her home, her family. She cried for the ache in her heart that Miguel had caused. Kay cried for the loneliness, and the pain it caused in her soul when she saw Miguel with Charity, or all those times she'd heard him tell Charity 'I love you'. She cried for the girl that she used to be, who had slowly and agonizingly, died in the past year. She cried for many things.  
  
  
Luis could practically feel the pain radiating off her. He held her close in his strong arms, hoping she would take hold of some of his strength or at least know that he was here for her, rocking her back and forth.   
  
Slowly, her sobs abated, but they both still sat there; Kay taking solace in Luis caring, and Luis still desperately wanting to help her, but guiltily enjoying the feeling of her in his arms  
  
  
Luis prayed the crying had helped wash the pain from her heart, and wasn't a sign that she was even more unhappy. He listened to her breathing grow deep and even as he still rocked, and felt her body relax.   
He knew she'd fallen asleep, so he carried her back into his room, laid her on to his bed, then covered her. He watched her sleep for awhile, then went and finished painting the room. He set up a few fans, one focussed on each wall, the closed the windows until they were only opened a crack and put on the window safety, so they'd be open, but no one could climb the fire escape and enter the second floor apartment.   
  
At long last, he settled himself for another long night on the couch.   
  
  
~*~  
  
  
b** Still in bed at Sam's new house on the beach **/b  
  
  
"But you said that . . ."  
  
"I know what I said Sam," Ivy burst out, then sighed resignedly, "I was scared. Scared of Julian, scared of Alistair. Scared of losing the only things I had left after losing everything that was important to me. But I'm finally out of their clutches. And since then I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you, that not only do we have a son. But that you're going to be a Grandfather too."  
  
"Could you repeat that?" Sam requested dumfounded.   
  
Ivy smiled, "Theresa's three months pregnant. Apparently, they had a lot of fun on that honeymoon, and they left so quickly, they forgot Theresa's birth-control . . . . Are you angry with me?" she questioned fearfully.   
  
"Are you kidding?! Hell no! I just found out the woman I love and I had a son together! And he's going to become a father!" He hugged her tightly, reassuring her.   
  
Ivy sighed the biggest sigh of relief in her life, "I was frightened you would hate me."  
  
"I wasted too many years being mad at you, and hating you. I will never, ever, make that mistake again." He vowed.   
  
Sam kissed her to seal his promise and made love to her again.   
  
  
b** A bit later **/b  
  
"How did you get Julian to divorce you?" Sam questioned Ivy suddenly, as they lay there.  
  
"It was simple actually, blackmail. I just used a picture of him in bed with some whore, and had the girl, changed into a guy, by brilliant son John, who is a photographer and knows his way around a computer. I knew Julian would never tell anyone, because the Crane's don't need anymore scandal after Ethan left Gwen at the alter and ran off with, as Rebecca Hotchkiss would say, the housekeeper's trollop daughter." Ivy told him honestly, laughing.  
  
"What will they do when they find out about Ethan?"  
  
"Nothing, just try to keep it quiet. They can't because Ethan's wife is a pregnant fashion designer who just hit it big, his real father is a police chief. And no matter what 'pull' they have with the mayor, as an ex-governor's daughter, I have more." Ivy told him smugly.   
  
"Does anyone else know that Ethan's my son?"  
  
"Only Pilar, and she has all the proof in an attaché case at her house. I couldn't leave it where Julian might find it. It has documents that prove you are the father." Ivy told him, yawning.   
  
Eventually, Ivy feel asleep, exhausted from the emotional, and physical events of the previous day. While Sam stayed up a bit longer, thinking of what Ivy had told him, absentmindedly playing with her hair.   
  
  
  
b** Around midnight **/b  
  
  
Sam reluctantly slipped his arm out from Ivy and got dressed. He had to get home, no matter how much he wanted to stay. He quickly dressed, and wrote a note to Ivy, apologizing for leaving while she was asleep. And telling that, he loved her.   
  
He left the note on the nightstand, then closed and locked the door behind him, and reluctantly drove home to his 'loving' wife.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  
Please, I want replies, I know it sounds pathetic, but I live for feedback, good or bad! I need to know what you think so I know where to go with this.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	4. Explaintions and Forgiveness

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own any of the characters, no matter how much I WISH I did. They belong to the wonderful owners of Passions and NBC  
  
  
  
I~ Thank you, everyone for posting or sending a reply! They all mean sooooo much to me!  
I hope y'all know that. I truly appreciate every single one of them, even those naysayers, at least you're giving me your opinion. I'm not going to change my mind! But thanks for telling me anyway.   
  
Sorry for taking so long, everything has been very messed up around here. I've been sleeping away most of the day because I've been sick, and school's got me busy. And on top of all that, I've been messing around with my new car. Yep, my parental units got me a car! All I need now, is a license . . . I know what you're thinking, why the hell do I have a car if I don't have a license, well, it's a really long story, that I don't want to get into! PLUS, it was Christmas, and did I mention that writer's block has been hitting me way hard lately?  
  
  
This chapter is rated . . . oh I don't know, I'm never a good judge of these types of things! ~/I  
  
  
Barely Breathing  
By Jules  
  
  
Chapter 4  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
b** Kay and Luis's apartment **/b  
  
  
Luis woke to the sounds of grunting. He jumped up to find Kay struggling to push the bed between the two windows.   
  
Kay spotted him, "Well don't just stand there, help me!" she ordered.   
  
Luis went over and easily pushed the bed into place. That's when he noticed the whole room, including the bed, was decorated in gold and midnight blue moon, sun, and stars. There were sheets, pillowcases, a quilt, curtains, clock throw, and candleholder (which all match, and is EXACTLY what I want my room to be like)  
  
"Where did all these come from?" Luis inquired, confused because he didn't remember seeing them the day before.  
  
"Sheridan dropped them off. Hank told her I liked them, so they're a present . . . you don't mind people talking about her, do you?"  
  
"If course not, Hank used to all the time, I got used to it and actually, it helped me get over her." Luis assured her, changed the subject, "So are you going to be ok alone? I have something's to do around town, then I have work."  
  
"Of course, have a great day. I'll be fine setting things up." Kay promised him.   
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
b** The Lopez-Fitzgerald house **/b  
  
  
Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald was sleeping in his bed when something caused him to tumble out. He jumped up, all tangled in his sheets, trying to figure out what had happened. Then he saw his big brother standing there, his arms crossed, face like a stone wall.   
  
"I thought Mama raised you better then that." Luis stated.   
  
"Huh? What are you talking about?" Miguel asked trying to figure things out.   
  
"Our family does not discard people, ignore them, or overlook them."  
  
Miguel was still confused, "What's going on Luis?"  
  
Luis took his brother by his wife beater shirt and slammed him against the wall.   
  
"How could you do that to Kay? You just ignored her and forgot about her. I want to understand after 17 years of you two being best friends, how you forget her 18th birthday. I want to know why you have talking to her in a year. Because I don't care if you are my brother, making a woman cry is not something I will put up with from anyone."  
  
"I forgot it? Oh, is that all?" Miguel demanded, indifferent to the fact he's been forgetting about his 'best friend'.   
  
"Oh? OH?!" Luis growled at him then threw his brother to the floor, "From this day on, you're sorry ass is to never come near her unless you have apologized, asked God for forgiveness, and though you might get it from them, but you will never have mine. I have never been so ashamed of anyone since Antonio just took off. Because you knew how much she needed you. You never even noticed her withdrawal from life, or her depression. The only think I have to say now is, shape up, or never come near me again. But definitely stay away from Kay. If I ever find her upset because of you again, I will beat you up so bad, your idiot girlfriend will be scared of the sight of your ugly mug."   
  
Then Luis stormed out, slamming the door behind him.   
  
Miguel sat on the floor in shock, "What the hell just happened?"  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
b** The Police Station **/b  
  
  
Luis strode in, feeling a bit better after his confrontation with Miguel, to find Sam staring into space again, and he just couldn't take it anymore.   
  
"Sam, can I talk to you in the break-room?" Luis requested.  
  
Sam looked up, surprised to hear a voice, "Wha-oh, hey Luis, what did you say?"  
  
"Break-room, you and me really need to talk."  
  
"Sure Luis."  
  
  
Luis shut the door behind him and turned to Sam, "I'm going to give you one chance, and one chance only, to explain why you've been so distant to Kay lately. Hank said you've been distracted, why."  
  
Sam sighed, crossed his arms, and then revealed the truth to Luis, "I'm leaving Grace, and I'm asking her for a divorce. It's been coming for a long time, since Theresa and Ethan ran off together mostly, that's when I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I was in love with someone else, and I have been since, since before Ethan was born, hell over a year before he was conceived . . . . Luis, it's Ivy Winthrop."  
  
"What?! But you've always hated her!" Luis exclaimed, at the same time wondering what the hell Ethan had to do with this.   
  
"Because I didn't understand why she'd left me all those years ago . . . why she'd run off and married Julian, but I know why now, and I forgive her. She explained why she did that all those years . . . . And something else . . . you have to promise not to tell anyone, until this becomes public."  
  
"I swear on my honor as an officer of the law."  
  
"I'm going to be a grandfather. Ethan is really my son, my biological son . . . the reason Ivy left me was because her father threatened to kill me, and Ethan, if she didn't marry Julian and never tell me. She had no choice." Sam exposed to Luis.   
  
Luis was blown away, "My God, who knows?"   
  
"Me, Ivy, and your Mother. Ivy and Pilar had to keep it a secret since Ethan was conceived."  
  
"My mother knew?!" Luis demanded incredulously.   
  
"Yeah, and she has the briefcase with all the documents proving the truth." Sam told him.   
  
"Why would my mother know?"  
  
"Luis, Pilar has know the whole truth about everything Ivy has ever done since she started working for Ivy's family when Ivy was 15, and when Ivy was forced to marry Julian, as the only person Ivy trusted, she went with her."  
  
Luis took a couple of deep breaths, "How long, have you know, about Ethan and Mama?"  
  
"Since last night, when Ivy told me."  
  
"Sam, you two have better have the truth come out soon, because I hate to lie to my sister or Kay, and I hope you realize Kay will have real problems with this."  
  
"I know, I want to tell her myself, so it won't be a surprise. Is she at you and Hank's apartment? I want to explain everything and apologize."  
  
Luis considered this for a moment, then nodded his head in confirmation, "Yeah, she's setting up her room . . ."  
  
"Thanks Luis, I really need to explain my actions. And if after I leave, she's still having problems with it. I mean if she is completely freaking out, call Dr. Sanders, no matter what time of day, 24/7. In fact, if Kay ever has a major problem where she's in shock or very upset, call Dr. Sanders, she's always available. Just don't go overboard with calling her, she does have other patients and a life."  
  
With that Sam patted Luis on the back and ran out the door.  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
b** 20 minutes later **  
** Luis and Kay's apartment **/b  
  
  
Kay was putting her new clock on the wall, when there was a knock at the door.   
  
  
Boy was she surprised to see her father. Who, by the way, was looking very guilty.   
  
"Why are you here?" She asked quietly.   
  
"I need to talk to you." Sam told her, his voice revealing how bad he felt.   
  
"What about?" Kay was very nervous.  
  
"Because, I need to explain . . . or at least try to, about my horrible behavior to you. May I please come in?" Sam implored.   
  
"I guess . . ."  
  
  
Both sat down, Sam wasn't sure how to do it, so he just came out and said it.   
  
"I've been distracted because, I realized something when Ethan ran off with Theresa. All of a sudden, I just knew. I couldn't ignore what my heart was telling me anymore. The truth of the matter is, I don't love your mother anymore. Honestly, I can't stand her, or her obsessions. I've been working on arranging a divorce for months now, and I didn't want your mother to find out and try to talk me out of it, because she's very good at that. And I've been gone because I bought a house, on the beach, and I've been fixing it up."  
  
"Why? I mean, what made you realize that you didn't love Mom anymore. What was you're heart telling you Dad?"  
  
"That I love someone else." Sam sighed, "You see, I met her when I was 17. We fell in love, and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I intended to ask her to marry me, but her father forced her to leave me by telling her he'd kill her, and our son that she'd just found out she was pregnant with . . . ."  
  
"Who?" Kay managed to utter.   
  
"Ivy Winthrop, Ethan Crane, well Bennett, is really my son . . . I just found out yesterday, and I wanted to tell you first, Ethan doesn't even know . . . ."  
  
"Madre dos mio!" Kay exclaimed, a phrase she'd picked up from the millions of times she'd heard Pilar use it over the years.   
  
"I don't want to disappoint you," Sam told her quickly, putting his hand on her arm, "but I can't hurt Ivy anymore either. She gave up any chance of happiness when she married Julian Crane for me, but I need to know what you think."  
  
Kay was silent for a few minutes, then slowly she told him, "Love, is an extraordinary thing, and it doesn't happen every day. It nearly killed me when I lost the person I loved, and I could never force someone else to give up a person they were truly in love with." Kay sighed, "I just . . . I just wish that- that you would have told me sooner, about why you'd been so distracted. I thought . . ." Kay bit her lip, closed her eyes and tried to keep back the tears that were stinging at her eyes, "I thought I didn't matter to you anymore, that you'd forgot me . . ."   
  
Sam hugged his daughter as she began to cry, "Oh honey, I am so sorry. I've felt so guilty about this, and stupid. I wish I knew how I could make this up to you, but I don't."  
  
Kay held on tight, and knew what she had to do, "Daddy, there's something I need to tell you. When Luis found me crying on the docks, I'd been planning to, planning to . . . I was going to jump off the wharf as soon as I had finished crying. I was planning to commit suicide."  
  
"Oh God, sweetie!" Sam hugged her tighter, "Thank God Luis came alone. I don't think I would be able to stand it if I lost you."  
  
"Dad," Kay holding him just as tight, but starts to get a grip on things, "I didn't though, and I don't plan on trying to every again. I'm here, I'm alive, and I understand why you were acting the way you did . . . you're just like Ethan. I heard he was trying to call off the wedding to Gwen for ages . . . . Though it was highly entertaining to see him run down the aisle, pulling the bride's maid of honor behind him, then hearing about him sneaking out of town with her." Kay laughed through her tears, then stopped, pulling away, her eyes getting wide, "I just realized something, Theresa's my sister-in-law! I have a sister-in-law!"  
  
"Yep, this has made some unexpected additions to our family . . ."  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
b** The beach front house **/b  
  
  
When Ivy had awoken to find herself alone, she'd thought the whole thing was a dream, then she noticed her surroundings, and found the note.   
  
I Dear Ivy,  
I hope you had sweet dreams, I saw you   
sleeping and I didn't want to leave last night,   
but I knew that I had to. I promise though,   
we'll be able to be together forever soon.   
I'll miss you until I see you again.  
  
Love you always,  
Sam  
/I  
  
  
Ivy had smiled at the note, lay in bed awhile longer.  
She'd been dreaming of a time like this happening for so many years. Her and Sam, together, happy, in love, free from the people who'd tried to keep them apart for so long. And it was finally coming true.   
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  
Please, I want replies, I know it sounds pathetic, but I live for feedback, good or bad! I need to know what you think so I know where to go with this.  
  
And, I'm kind of stuck with this story. Anyone got any ideas on how to continue?  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


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